I pulled the needle out. "Wow!" I exclaimed, "that's some goof stuff!" Pulling the truck out of the driveway, I waved good-bye to my husband and two kids. I was traveling to the Baja Peninsula on business. Illegal business. 20 kilos were to arrive in two days and I was in charge of distribution.

Driving while stoned is more fun than you might expect. It's also safer than you may expect. Well, maybe not safer, but I certainly have a blast!

On reaching the freeway, I raced up to a brisk 89 m.p.h. I had always believed a little heroin helped me stay awake. I needed to stay awake if I was gong to drive from New York to Baja without sleeping. I used to use coffee to stay awake until I learned drugs worked much better. The only side affects were those hallucinations.

Swerving to avoid a train, I realized it was a snake. Swerving back to hit the snake, it turned out it really was a train. I didn't really need that right side mirror.

I wondered when the hallucinations would start. I usually saw animals in the road. I looked around for animals. Grizzly bears? I scanned the horizon; no grizzly bears. Black bears? I turned to look back, causing the fence on the right side of the freeway to slam into my car. I didn't notice any black bears luckily. Brown bears? Looking around I didn't notice any. Wait! I didn't have anybody sitting in the back seat when I left home. I calmed down when I found it wasn't a brown bear. It was a polar bear. I almost pulled over to let the hallucination finish when I recalled the hallucinations of animals always appeared on the road. That bear must not have been a hallucination. I was so relieved!

Things in life don't last forever, and that included my buzz. The second I noticed my buzz was losing its effect, I slammed on the brakes to fix the problem. I'm sure glad I did that when I did, because there was a cow in the middle of the road! Maybe the buzz hadn't died down, with the cow and all, but I injected again, just to be sure.

I shifted the car into gear and sped away. I saw a police car; the best kind of hallucinations! I put the "pedal to the metal," gaining speed quickly as I neared the car. I had made 130 m.p.h. when I hit. Surprise! It wasn't a hallucination!

Air bags really do save lives, and inspirational speakers make a good bit of money. That accident really turned my life around. During my eighteen months in a bodycast, I had time to think my life through. I started to think about changing my life, and sevens years and three months of counseling made me more confident. I had three more kids, too. It's amazing what a drug-induced murder can do for you!